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Wednesday 19 September 2018

I need feedback

                                  I need feedback!!

welcome to my blog .For writing  we had to do a claim this is my claim.
                                         
                                                                           claim
I know that your muscles move your bones.I have told you this fact because I think that your muscular system is the most important system in your body.

As you might tall I am doing the muscular system in my grope we had to say why it is the best system.I think min is the best one in my grope but it is probably not.

Thank you for looking at my blog post please give me some feedback.


3 comments:

  1. Hi Ebony its Hayley from wigram primary school
    I love the way you added some facts. Maybe next time you could take out the full stop out after the because. This reminds me when I had to write a claim.
    By Hayley:)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Ebony,
    its me Finau from your school I like your claim about the muscular system but maybe next time you could add a little more facts other than that great job.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi Ebony,

    I like your claim in writing, but maybe next time you should check your sentences first but keep up the good work.

    ReplyDelete

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